It's not an all-around funk, this one. It's really more about how I feel I'm spending my time with my children lately. It's nothing new to have a house and life full of "chores" -- who doesn't have a sink full of dishes, toys and books on the floor, bags dropped at the front door, meals to cook, emails to return, commitments to show up on time for? It feels like it's more about how I'm holding it all.
When I step back and look objectively at the "things" done together each day, it looks okay. We do fun things, get our "work" done reasonably well. It's not "all work & no play." We're happy -- we talk and laugh and enjoy ourselves together (mostly, overall, you know what I mean). So, what's going on?
Is it "overcommitment" and fewer opportunities for spontaneity and relaxation? Am I more distracted by something (or somethings)? Is life out of focus somehow at the moment? And if so, why? Has there been a series of unnoticed or subtle shifts in our individual and family development, and I'm not yet caught up? Am I "out-of-step?" Is life just running too fast for me right now? Have I still not gotten the hang of parenting two children? Am I moving as a "parent of one" -- with two kids? Is this overwhelm? Have I lost it -- my parenting mojo? (Can you link those two ideas together?) Are we doing too many of the things we should be doing and not enough of the things we want to be doing? Or am I just tired? And how do I turn this around? Or, is this one of those I wait out? (I have such mixed feelings about that one! I'm not good at waiting; although, waiting versus doing doesn't sound half-bad when I'm this tired...) I don't mean to be over-dramatic about this. And, I have been known to overthink a situation a time or two. But Something is missing. Or I'm missing Something.
This happens from time to time -- probably to everyone, I imagine? (Right? Please say it happens to you, too...) And, of course, it does always turn around. But, boy do I hate how it feels in the meantime!
Thanks for "listening." I'd sure love to hear your thoughts on the matter...
|"Snap out of it!"|